Tuesday, April 7, 2015

The Art of Speaking Less

Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool who keeps Silent is considered wise, when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent"

I don't speak much I rather prefer to write my thoughts to reassure myself. I'm quite an introvert trying to enjoy life in the world of young and energetic extroverts.


Talking Minds:

Talking according to me is a two way communication. In two different Directions. When one speaks the other is consuming the information and vice verse. But here is the catch , what we think while we talk. 

A person will always share his part but it is never in his or her control who the recipient is processing the information as. As simple as follows

If A tells B "Bring me a glass of water"

B understands but conditions may be that 1) A needs help 2) A is very busy to do his own work 3) A may be a lazy ass. Depending on what B understands relies the secret of a relationship.

When we tell out problems, some hot new gossip, or share general information we open our mind to the front person we speak to. Hence we have to be careful of what we speak as we cannot control what the other person thinks not only about what we speak but how we speak. They judge us in ways we will never known , until reading mind and thoughts is possible.

Speaking less and taking time to respond when you want to communicate is very important
I have always had Male co-workers in my team. Just once I worked with a team of females.

The difference is easy to spot. Men do not like talking too much  about a thing. Even if they do they speak in bullet points. That is how women too should be speaking in bullet points. We will save a lot of agony over running around the bush discussions, which will eventually land to the same conclusions as men but in a complex manner.

Talk to build and not destroy:

The key to speaking less is to think before speaking. We want to place opinions & we demand quick responses. But we should be slow in talking. No matter how angry we are, how much excited we are about sharing how girl looked at the party, funny dress and experience. With too many words we get caught up in delivering the essence of  a conversation.

Imagine if we think before we speak, we will avoid the embarrassment cause by not speaking to the point. We will not be lost in transition. We might avoid gossiping and speaking bad about others. We will be able to be a good judge of situations and create an understanding of how to share things



Consequences of Talking too much :

With soo many applications to communicate easily, talking has become an essential part of life.
Unlike before when wife would wait for a letter from her husband take sometime, think and reply.

Now, everything is quick and soo quick that we don't think about the consequences of what we speak.

When I deleted a very well known application for chatting from my Cellphone. I was at first scared of loosing my friends. I may have hurt their feelings.But then I realised that it changed my life in many ways.

I didn't want to be felt needed by people, I enjoyed myself by not talking. There was a sense of satisfaction by not replying to 20 Good morning messages and another 20 good night texts.

We all sleep and by Gods Grace we all wake up. My phone feels more lively with me in control of what I speak.If I miss any of my friends I ring them up and speak for 2 mins. Yes, it costs me but its better than keeping in touch on chats and talking and waiting for replies.

Negativity is somehow innate in humans. We like to hear, read, talk or write something negative than positive.

We need to understand before we talk, is it going to help?, is it going to bring positive change?, is it the right time?


Filtering ears:

I learnt this from my guy, to keep filtering ears.

His ears are small and so is his wonderful sense of getting things to the point and speaking less. When we listen too much we tend to talk and empathize in the same manner. But what if we processed information just as we want it? The front person may have a long story but we should learn to listen. Listen what is required and reply accordingly.

We will pay attention too many things 
Harry said , " He didn't have milk in the morning, he has job issues,he has unpaid bills, he is sobbing his wife ran away, he is feeling lonely"

The filtering ear listens to everything and will say" Harry, find a job and things will be better"

The more you say you need to take a revenge on your wife, bash your ex boss, ask for money from a friend to pay some dues, or you yourself try and lend some money etc

People with this kind of mentality are known to give facts, Hard facts but true facts ,which will hurt you for a while but will only help you focus on the right thing, than thinking about 10 other useless things which are not important.

It just makes you wise.


The more you learn to listen and respond , the more you learn to speak wisely. Speak less and consume more information. No matter what people say, you don't need to rush with your thoughts to be put in to words.

Always speak to bring a positive change in the life of others.

Master OOgway: Spoke less and spoke wise










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